First Dates

Long time, no talk. I know, I know that seems to be theme for this blog :( A LOT has happened since I last posted...I think back in like late November? December's definitely been an interesting, eye-opening month for me in many ways.

Let's first talk about my very first date. Yes, I'm 25. Yes I just went on my first official date like a week ago. It was with a guy that I've known since high school and had a small crush back then. As fate would have it, we went to the same college and had the same major, although he was a year below me and our classes never overlapped. But I would see him around campus and say hi, smile, etc like I do with anyone. Fast forward to first year of medical school, he ended up messaging me one night and we started texting regularly shortly after that. We then made a date to hangout, but as silly me would have it, I of course fucked it up. Instead of going out to dinner or for coffee like a normal person, I decided to text him half-drunk after a night of clubbing during medical school orientation and invite him over to my place. I didn't even think about the kind of message it sent. So he showed up to my apartment with a bottle of Smirnoff I think? Or Bacardi, I can't recall obviously. And of course like any normal man, he thought it was a bootycall. When that didn't happen and I refused to even kiss him after he made it very clear that he wanted me sexually, he of course went home all flustered, embarrassed, and probably a little upset. SO embarrassing! To my surprise, that wasn't the end of our relationship. We still Snapchatted and texted every now and then, but our busy schedules prevented us from setting a date to hangout again...not that he was yearning to hangout with me after our little incident, I'm sure. Fast forward some more to a few weeks ago (mind you, like 3 years later after the embarrassing incident), we decide to hangout again. We got Thai food at a local joint and it was....awkward. Just an awkward fucking date. He had a cute face, gorgeous eyes, and a good head on his shoulders but there was just no chemistry. He made some awkward jokes on our drive over to the restaurant and made waayyyyy too many sarcastic, joking comments for me to even take him seriously. Everything I said would turn into some sort of sarcastic comment or joke. A little over the top and annoying. Just too much of a clown for me, let's put it that way. He paid for the meal, confirming that it was a date not just a friendly hangout...oops. When he dropped me off, I don't know if he expected me to invite him upstairs, but I just told him it was fun, wished him a good night, and left things that way. No kiss, no physical contact, nothing.

Although he wasn't the one and there's zero chance of a second date, I'm still glad I put myself out there. I was so incredibly nervous and wanted to cancel the whole night, but I'm proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and giving things a chance. About fucking time since my ovarian clock is tick-tocking away. Having this experience definitely makes me more comfortable with the thought of dating, and to be honest I can't wait to do it again! I'm a pretty social person and I love meeting new people, so dating isn't as scary as I initially thought. Just getting past those first date nerves and hoping he's a decent, normal guy is the only part that scares me. And to be honest, stepping into the whole dating realm makes me more self-conscious and propels me to get fit and look my best. I may not be America's Next Top Model, but the least I can do it shed a few pounds, tone up, and look good in sexy clothes. Or at least jeans for now! And dating gives me another incentive to focus on my outer appearance and health.

Whew so there it is. I FINALLY got this post up and written. I wanted to write about more fun, exciting stuff that's been happening in my life this month but I'll save it for another blog post. I'm going to try to blog every day until the New Year, but no commitments. I already have some stuff I wanted to talk about like my HUGE beauty hauls, favorites, more life events, and exciting stuff coming up next year so look out for some more stuff coming up soon!