Hey beautifuls. I wanted to do an update post on how things have been going since starting internship. My last post was quite depressing, but I'm happy to say that the initial shock of starting residency is now fading and I'm really loving it. It's challenging to work 72+ hours a week, but at the end of the day, seeing happy parents and smiling children reminds me why I got into this profession in the first place. Although every single day is grueling and I may not always get the recognition for working so hard, I still love this profession and there's nothing else in the world I would want to do than take care of children. Even though this program may not be all rainbows and sunshines and we have to do more "scut work" than other residency programs, I still really love this hospital and the supporting environment. I'm learning so much and have become SO much more confident in my clinical skills in just a few short weeks.

I'm also happy to say that I'm  finally 95% done unpacking and settling into my new place. I spent a lotttt of time, energy, and money setting up my apartment, but it's finally looking put together and how I want. I love that I have so much space in my new apartment and love the minimalistic decor. The only issue is that my oven is broken, so I'm not able to bake :( and the laundromat situation isn't ideal since there's only one washer that works in our laundry room. Besides that, I really do love Long Island. There's just so much to do around here -- suburban, urban, hipster stuff, artsy stuff, lots of shopping and unique finds, near the beach, near the riverside, etc. Now that I've got my apartment finished, I can focus on exploring the area more on my days off. And getting back on living a healthy lifestyle. My face is currently sitting in the Origins Active Charcoal Mask and it feels so goooooodd, my skin definitely needed it. And I have clinic tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to dressing up and not wearing the same old scrubs that I have been for the past 3 weeks. It feels so unbelievable to say that I've been an intern for 3 weeks now...time has flown by so fast!

Now that I'm settled down and the hurricane of moving in is over, I hope to have a post on my morning and night routines coming up this month, and maybe a haul, apartment decor, meal planning, or organization posts. A budget post will be up probably at the end of next month since my finances this month have been all over the place, but I hope to start watching my expenses tightly in August. I really want to get back to posting 5x a month since I really do love blogging and sharing my experiences with you guys. Anyways, this mask is hurting my face now, so time to wash it off, eat dinner, and go to bed. Till next time loves <3 

Moving to New York and First Day of Internship!

It's been way too long since my last post.
Like really long.

Soooo many things have gone on in just one month. For starters, I moved to New York! The move was okay at first, especially the week I was vacationing here with my parents. But since they left, I've been incredibly lonely. I thought it would be easy and exciting moving to a new place and living on my own, but it really hasn't been all that great so far. The loneliness is just incredibly overwhelming. I have a couple good friends who live in the other boroughs of New York, but they're not close enough to hang out with on a regular basis. I thought I would make friends with my co-residents, but that's proving to be harder than I thought since most of my co-interns are local and have other friends in the area. Not to mention, there's groups of students from a particular medical school, so it was super cliquey even from day one. I really miss my friends and family in Pittsburgh, and have been texting and calling them on a regular basis. In fact, I've called my parents every day since moving and have been texting my friends on and off. I'm having a hard time making friends here and wonder if I'll even make any friends at all.

I'm starting to think that I made a mistake ranking this program so high. To be honest, I was so enamored by the fact that this program was large and located so close to NYC, and was a top 50 children's hospital that I didn't really stop to consider the nitty gritty daily resident life stuff that makes this program not so great. And trust me, there's quite a bit of them. First of all, the system isn't 100% electronic yet, so there are tons of paper notes to organize and write. Second, residents have to do soooo many mundane procedures like blood draws, immunizations, IV placements that it's sort of annoying. Shitty ancillary staff makes residency even harder. Actually it's very annoying going from a hospital system that has great ancillary services to a school that has really terrible ancillary services. Lastly, I feel like nobody is really interested in teaching here. It's just a bunch of scutwork. I overestimated the reputation and quality of this program, and I really think I made a huge, huge mistake. I miss my family and friends so much, and I'm so overwhelmed by how lonely I feel. And it's only day one!

Honestly, I keep kicking myself because I feel like this is all my fault. I keep thinking that if only I had higher board scores, I would've gotten into a better residency program, possibly even at UPMC. I'm so envious of all my medical school friends who got to stay in Pittsburgh. I really thought this move would be exciting and unique, but so far it's just stressful and overwhelming. And really really isolating. I'm hoping that I'm only feeling this way because it's day one. I'm hoping things settle down soon. Maybe after this month is over? I'm already counting down to my vacation weeks in November...and even 3 years from now, when I'm done with this bullshit. I'm honestly so tired of being in school and reinventing the wheel.

I'm hoping that my next post will be perkier! Anyway, it's off to collect my laundry and go to sleep, goodnight beautifuls <3 I might not be able to update this blog as regularly, but hopefully I''ll have a beauty post coming up soon.